I have become obsessed with our juke box. It has become a living entity for me and I speak of her in a manner that illuminates my psychosis. There are layers to this obsession and they run deep.
I want her for myself, but also for the Beard, but most of all (showing the true depths of my depravity), I want her for you.
Mike and I constructed her in a Weird Science, bras on the head, sort of way. (SIDE PHOTO WEIRD SCIENCE BRAS ON HEAD?) We nerded out on this big time. When we weren’t awake talking about beer, we were asleep dreaming about constructing this magical conveyor of our collective psyche.
And that is what she is for me (for us).
She isn’t everything, but she is an indication of what is going on under the ceremonial Beard. We want her for you because we built her. Because, like the beer, what is streaming out of her is a part of us.
She is truly an extension of the Beard, and like with our recipes and brew days, we agonized, negotiated, thought of you, thought of us, thought of us as you. And we went to work.
After all, Dear Customer, we are on a date: we and you. And forethought is required. I get that you probably are not ready to have me play my favorite Bjork album for you (yes I do have one) and it might be too soon to ask you to welcome Fela Kuti or Cradle of Filth into your heart. Oh, I sacrificed.
And Mike did as well: What, no Bitches Brew or Oingo Boingo from Maass? Honestly, we really did think of you and your experience…
She is made up of fifty percent Beard must-haves; bands like Bad Religion, Dead Kennedys, Ramones, Bob Dylan, Band of Horses, Metallica, and Led Zeppelin. But she’s also made up of some of our personal must-haves, bands that we could not bring ourselves to omit, bands that bring us too much joy. And since we are in this relationship together, we know, I know, that you wouldn’t ask me to forego my musical obsession with the German heavy metal band Accept, the Swedish rock ‘n roll band The Hellacopters, or the Norwegian punk rockers Turbonegro. Moreover, we know that you would also welcome Mike’s visceral connection to Alice in Chains and Miles Davis as your own.
I can’t wait to see what you come in and select. Queue the 80’s montage (bra on head, glass in hand).